Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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