I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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