watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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