we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
