kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
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