direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
