It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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