My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I won't apologize to a one balled man
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
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