Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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