whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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