Do you still have your period?
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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