i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
