There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
They are going to name an STD after you.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
