i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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