he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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