I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
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