Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
