R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
is wine microwaveable?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
