come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
