Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
