is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
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