you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
