I CAN MOONWALK!
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
