If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
