Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
