handjob tips. give me some.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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