is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
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