fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
