I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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