you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
