What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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