I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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