I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
You had me at "let me see your balls"
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize