Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
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