You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
