i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
