i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
