Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
