bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
