dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize