The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
