Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
did you just send me my own nude
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
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