they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
