i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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