Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
