no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
