yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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