I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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