your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
