Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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