I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
