Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Randomize
