after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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