I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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