I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
i want to swaddle you in tequila
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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