I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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