Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
