I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
