I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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