Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
