I heard we made out
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
handjob tips. give me some.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
